Having a happy fulfilling long term relationship might be one of the most challenging things you do in life, but it can also be the most rewarding, too. There are a lot of things that both people have to do to ensure that the marriage or long term relationship is as successful as it can possibly be, which can feel overwhelming at times. However there are a few things that I think are really key for a happy long term relationship and they can be a great way to get started on improving things. Keep reading to learn more.
1. Respect The Other’s Boundaries
If you’d like to open up your relationship, but your partner isn’t interested, then be careful to respect their boundaries. It is not worth compromising your relationship trying to have an open relationship when your partner is not interested. If that’s something you’d like to pursue, it is a lot more sensible to find someone like minded and to lay those expectations on the table from the beginning. But respecting their boundaries expands further than the bedroom. It’s really important to listen to what your partner is saying and when they express they’re unable to do something or uncomfortable with something. Remember monogamy is non negotiable for the majority of people. Boundaries can also come up a lot when you’re raising children, and that can be really hard for both partners to navigate as we are often pretty set on how we want to raise our children. For that reason, I always suggest that couples have really clear talks about monogamy, cheating, children and what those things mean for each of you. That gives you an opportunity to build some emotional closeness, while setting boundaries about what feels acceptable to you in a long term relationship.
2. A Sense of Adventure
Having the same life day in and day out can feel comfortable, but it can also feel really boring too! Having a sense of adventure, or doing new and exciting things can be such a great way to spice things up. Why not plan a fun trip together to go somewhere new? If travel isn’t in your budget, it can be fun to take on your current city like a tourist and do all the touristy things. Being adventurous day to day can also mean having a go-with-the–flow attitude when things go wrong and seeing problems as little speed bumps or plot twists. Having a sense of adventure can also mean trying new things, such as skiing, hiking or even a new. sport. It can mean being always open to new experiences and saying ‘yes to life.’ If you have a strong sense of adventure that will probably be very appealing to your partner, and it will also help keep your relationship feeling really fresh.
If you keep running into the same relationship problems, then it might be time to get some professional help, either individually or as a couple. You may start off with one and realise that you actually would like to do the other type, too. I personally think therapy is so valuable. It allows you to see the unhealthy patterns you might be stuck in, the ways you are hurting each other without realising it, and it helps you break away from some of your family’s traumas. Only you know whether you or your relationship would benefit from therapy, but in my opinion almost every single person on the planet should try therapy for at least a period in their lives. It’s so wonderful to have an outside opinion on issues, things that you’re stuck on, or some assistance to reframe things that might be impacting your emotions or life choices.
4. Common Goals
I think it’s so important to regularly set down and make some goals together. Whether you make financial goals, lifestyle goals, or even family goals, having a clear plan with your partner where you’re both working towards the same thing can really help kickstart your relationship’s success. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more productive and focused when I know what I’m focusing on, so use that logic in your own relationship. You can come up with some core values together that you want to have in your relationship, as well as some areas of your life together that you feel needs improvement. Working together towards common goals means you will also have a built in accountability partner, which will help you stay motivated when the going gets tough. I personally like to make new years goals together as that way we have a time each year where we do our joint goal setting.
Being in a happy long term relationship can enrich your life in too many ways to count. If you’re struggling to have the type of relationship you dream of, or you know deep down that things can be better, implement some of these tips to see how they can help you.